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Zoolebrity Swears

We asked a selection of recent Zoological discoveries what their favourite non-swear word was, the results were quite unexpected!

First spotted in the toilets at Tesco’s in Hull the Toilet Tiger is a bit of an enigma, prone to appearing at the most inopportune time it’s sudden appearance between the legs of toilet goers often causes a quick messy exit. Prowling the sewers the Toilet Tigers can cover large distances in it’s quest for food, it’s not unknown for them to sneak out of the toilet at night to devour whole families. Signs that you have a Toilet Tiger included unknown toilet blockages, the toilet brush to be suddenly bitten off whilst you are using it and a low growl when you raise the seat and sit down. Never ever let anything dangle in the water, it will torment a Toilet Tiger until in a furious rage it will rip out your ballcock. Toilet Tiger refused to join in with todays blog, instead he insisted on telling a joke.

Gaga Baublemoose was more amiable as long as we decorated her antlers. Forever showing off we had no problem getting words from Gaga Baublemoose, in fact we found it difficult to stop her until she used the word Cumquat which obviously was a step too far. Finally Gaga Baublemoose settled on the cheeky word ‘Cockles’ which we all know is short for a small poker.

 Tom Moos has been around for what seems like a lifetime after being discovered at a diary farm in Cornwall refusing to be milked until he had seen his agent. The rest as they say is history and Tom Moos has featured in many Hollywood hits including Top Moo, Mission Impossimoo and Jerry Mooguire. Diminutive Tom had little trouble coming up with his word, in fact we couldn’t tell if this was his word or he was hinting at something. Tom seemed to have a bit of an obsession, other suggestions Tom suggested included Blowhole and Bunghole. Hmmm.

Finally we asked The Monarch Mallard, Englands only regal duck recognisable by it’s distinctive headscarf and crown combination and it’s audiable ‘Bugger it!’ call. The Monarch Mallard had an astounding range of filth and after editing out the swearing it finally settled on Ho’ which I’m reliably informed is street speak for a garden implement.

We hope you enjoyed our Zoolebrity Swears, we return next with two new words ‘Prickle’ and ‘Assess’, I can’t wait!

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