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Tommy Titbarts Knockers

My name is Tommy Titbart and I like knockers. There’s no shame in liking knockers and I quite frequently ask my colleagues if they are a knocker or a door knob kind of person to which I reply, knockers of course. You may recognise me from my best selling book ‘Don’t be a knocker till you have knocked a knocker’ and ‘Knocking for business’ a guide to making money from professional knocking. This is my round up of the latest knocking hardware.

A simple design available from DIY stores but a good little knocker for small doors. It’s sexy body hints at the sensual knock that this achieves through the use of a heavy counter weight hidden in the knocker knock box. Know in the trade as a door trembler because of the phallic like top detail.

No this is a classy knocker, brassy and brazen in design it knocks like there’s no tomorrow. I have been know to knock this one into the early hours of the morning often going out of my way to locate a new knocker to knock. You are begging for attention with this curvaceous design. 10/10 full knock on knockery.

Ohhh my god, double knockery! Twice the fun, twice the knocking action from a pair of stunners attached to a grand pair of oak doors just ripe for a good knocking. It’s a knocky knacky noo delight, I’m off to do a two handed knock right now until I’m completely knockered. Knockers are always better when you have a handful.

Hi, my name is Cheggers and I like knockers too. You may remember me from such programs as Naked Jungle where I showed you my splendid knockers or Cheggers Plays Pop where I knocked knockers to the tune of the latest pop hits. I’d like to show you my favourite knocker of all time and believe me, I have seen plenty over the years.

It’s the Wham Bam Thank You Mam Heavy Gauge Whacker Slapper, the daddy of enormous knockers and one I’d bang anytime of the day or night. In fact I have one of these installed on the front of my underpants, there’s nothing like a dramatic way to announce my arrival than knocking my knocker against my knacker needlessly knackering my kno… STOP IT RIGHT THERE, THIS IS NOT FUNNY AND ITS GETTING TOO CRUDE, FINISH THE BLOG AND WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT.

Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

Salt n Pepa.

Door’s not locked. Just push it. Push it real good.


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