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Pop Dog

Top Reviews, Top Pop, Top Dog… Oh no! It’s POP DOG! Woof, Woof!

Orville’s Song – Keith Harris and Orville
Rating *****

Up there with Whitney’s ‘I Will Always Love You’ this subtle ballad had grown men tearing off their ears when it first charted in 1983 reaching a staggering number 4 in the charts with blistering lyrics penned by the green bird Orville himself.

“Orville: I wish I could fly way up to the sky but I can’t,
Keith: You can,
Orville: I can’t!
Orville: I wish I could see what folks see in me but I can’t”

Neither could we Orville, I’d sooner have scrotal dermatitis eradicated with a claw hammer than sit through this record again. Love the hair.

Excellent, can’t wait for the album.

Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus
Rating *****************************

Not content with wreaking his revenge many years later with cannonball underwear riding smiley Miley this tune once heard is never forgotten. If you have ever experience this tune whilst wearing chaps then I feel very sorry for you son. Anybody who can shoehorn lyrics of this calibre into a depressing tune that refuses to leave you head needs this to actually happen…

“You can tell your dog to bite my leg
Or tell your brother Cliff whose fist can can tell my lip”

I know, I had to read it twice too. Cliff, fist and lip don’t exactly roll off the tongue does it. Still, he’s breaking all our hearts again in 2014 by unleashing his twerking teenager, now that’s something that’s going to need therapy.

Can’t fault it, catchy tune, can’t wait for the album.

Do Ya Think I’m Sexy? – Rod Stewart
Rating *

“Come on honey let’s spend the night together
Now hold on a minute before we go much further
Give me a dime so I can phone my mother”

Think for a minute, you have a guy who thinks you think he is sexy so what does he do when he gets you alone? He bums a dime off you (should have been a 2p, Rod’s living in an American dream world) then ask’s to phone his mum.

Cheeky sod, still, if blond haired prunes with a penchant for like minded females is anything to go by Rod is actually singing this to himself in the mirror. Fact.

Sexy beyond belief, can’t wait for the album.

This is POP DOG signing off for SMASHY HITS MAGAZINE, until next time, woof, woof!

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