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The long suffering blog of the Impossimal creators...

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find me some juicy titbits

NO WAITING, Operators Are Standing by 24 Hours a Day!

Welcome to the wonderful world of home shopping with Marvellouslifeofcrap Ltd. Hundreds of BARGAINS that won’t SAVE you money. You won’t be SAVING anything and you’ll wonder why you did it. Join hundreds of diSATISFIED CUSTOMERS who can’t believe how much money they didn’t SAVE.
combine fruit with the same ease as tying a shoelace

DOUBLE EDGED FRUIT PINS

 These innovative wooden carved pins have been specially designed to impress. Made from the finest pine they will pin fruit together effortlessly. Pin grapes to melons, pineapples to pears, the list is truly endless. Each pin is just over 10cm in length, enough to pin the biggest of fruit. Buy multiple packs to impress at parties, create your own arty fruit sculpture or just pin for business or pleasure.
Each pack contains enough pins to pin a whole bunch of grapes.
#8374 ‘Fruit Pins’ £9.99
nightime drinking has never been so easy

SOMMELIER SLIPPERS

Ever get up in the middle of the night and fumble with the wine bottle so instead grab for the gin? Fumble no more with pesky caps and corks with your own set of professional sommelier slippers. Made from a comfortable fleecy material these snug stylish slip-ons conceal a full sommelier arsenal of corkscrews and bottle openers, each folding away neatly after use. Bonus! Hidden in the heel is a handy tablet compartment, simply click you heels together and out drops your medication. Ideal for wine experts and children alike.
#92631 ‘Sommelier Slippers’ £19.99
pesky flies don’t stand a chance

FLYMINATOR BUG BLENDER

Balanced to perfection and made from a combination of high impact plastic and tungsten carbon blades this is the ultimate in fly deterrent. One simple swipe will bring them down, flip it over for the battery operated angle grinding blender where fifty small surgical sharp blades will mince them into a thousand pieces. Optional shock pack available to turn your blender into a terrifying swat, electrify and blend weapon of mass flystruction.
#2536 ‘Flyminator Bug Blender’ £29.99
#2537 ‘Shocktastic Mains Adapter’ £19.99
drop da bomb on da bitches

GHETTO ‘BITCHIN’ CLOCK BELTS

Yo bro, show the young uns how to do it with this handsome and stylish ghetto belts that are all the rage. The colours are just perfect to coordinate with any clothing and the inclusion of a clock with big hands removes the need for wristwatches leaving more room for ghetto colours. Made from real leather and gold paint it’s fully washable and reversible, the back strap will even carry anything from Glocks to Badang Badang.
What time is it?
Clock my crotch watch bitch!
#69 ‘Ghetto Bitchin Watch’ £9999.99
CALL *”&£*&”£^-88273-1278-128932178 NOW WITH YOUR ORDER
OR VISIT WWW.MARVELOUSLIFEOFCRAP.COM TODAY!

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