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Arfur Bentcocks Lucky Locker

Welcome my friends, it is indeed your lucky day! After the fabulous Mariposa Ball at the weekend it’s time to get back to the day job and don my tit-fer-tat whilst I show you my orchestra stalls. I even have some nice little earners that will please er indoors. Ours is not to reason why, ours is to just flog and buy.

10 Blue Peter Presenters

A little tatty around the edges I know but these beauties will go for a song. I’ll even throw in a Shep and some sticky back plastic. Ideal for childrens parties, vintage stalls these are fona bide original John Nokes and Peter Purves with not a scratch on them.

£10 each or the whole lot including a Gnome from the Blue Peter garden for a monkey.

Racing Snail

Nice little runner with shell, without shell it’s a little sluggish.

£1 each way to win.

22 Luminous Mirrored Toilet Seats

You see what you need is a night guide, something to help you during the night. I have just the thing, Lush Loo mirror seats that glow in the dark. No more clambering down the apples and peaches to drop a missed Richard with these little runners, no my son, these are what the gentry are having. Ever fancy being a Lord? I got titles you know, want to be a Queen? I can fix you up in no time. Job lot, sell ’em daawn the Winchester, I’ll even get Terry to drop em off, can’t say fairer than that can I?


120 Cassette Players 

Top notch gear this is, all those Japanese use them to tape sushi on them. Grab a couple of these, go down the market and they will sell like hot corks to the kids. They can play any instrument, just pop your tape in here and press play, music to my ears, you can’t beat a good marching band whilst you’re smoking a Panatella can you. Here’s a secret, these are not allowed in the country yet due to the Ministry Of Defence, worried about people taping Noel Edmunds off the stereogram, kids everywhere will be corrupted they say, I played one to er indoors and now she’s got a beard. Top secret top notch, no croutons here on class earners my friend.

£20 each, C90 tapes 50p, Best Of Des’O’Connor FREE

Sinclair C5

Nice little runner, one lady owner. Admit it, your face looks as healthy as a pirate flag so you need to slow down a bit, take it easy. This motor will get you about from B to A in no time my friend. It’s runs on batteries so no oil sheik to pay, I’ll even throw in a few peddles to get you up hills. If it’s good enough for Sir Clive god bless him it’s good enough for you. The Queens got one, she uses it to cruise around Buckingham Palace, I know, I sold it her along with a set of extra batteries and a cassette player.

£500 Wheels Extra

That’s it Terry, shut the lockup, lets go for a pint. The smaller they are the bigger they bawl, ain’t that right Terry?

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