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The long suffering blog of the Impossimal creators...

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Your Letters

AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?

Dear Impossimal,

My wife insists that the Hovis advert music was taken from Symphony No. 9, in E Minor “From the New World” (Op. 95) by Dvorak but I think it was written by Adam Ant especially for the advert after enjoying Hovis for many years. My marriage is on the rocks because of this, please tell me I’m right.

Yours Reg Varney

* You are indeed correct Reg, Adam Ant wrote the song in a fit of pique after rivals Sunblessed threatened to air an advert combining the Shake’n’Vac song with a nice crusty farmhouse loaf cycling up a hill. Adam Ant was so enraged believing that Hovis was the only bread that should be consumed he spent six nights in a locked cubicle toilet with a twenty six piece orchestra until they came up with the song you nostalgically remember today.

THE THINGS KIDS SAY

Dear Impossimal,

My two-year-old found a spider in the garden and lo and behold spoke their first words. They wanted to know what the speed of light was relative to the speed of sound. I told them I didn’t know to which they replied ‘I knew you were this stupid, this is why I didn’t speak to you for the first two years after I was born.’

Yours T.P.Charmin

* Kids eh? Can’t live with them, can’t live without constant mewlings regarding time and space theorem.

TIE ME UP

Dear Impossimal,

I am learning to tie my shoelaces can you recommend any good books or classes to help?

Yours D.Cameron

* Of course, you can always try Ken Dodds Diddy Guide To Shoemastery, the bible for shoelace aficionados. In this three hundred page hardback Ken takes you through the simple up and down through the loop system right up to the triple hangmans noose reefer knot. With special sections on making shoe polish from chocolate it covers all your shoe needs. Only £17.99 from all good shoe shops.

OVERHEARD ON A BUS

“Two to town please.”

“That’s £1.20 love.”

“Thankyou.”

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

“I wish I could sing.” J.Bieber (Singer) (Sort of) (Maybe) (Kinda)

PUZZLE OF THE DAY

What is the next number in this sequence?

A, C, E, G, ?

CROSSWORD NO.627

Acehole.

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If you would like a question answered in this column you can contact us direct at Dept Readers Letters Filed Under Bin, The Daily Sun Mirror Mail, Bow Bells, Paddington, Trafalgar Square, Landan.

 

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