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What Am I Like?

Hey, I tried some of these ‘what are you’ tests, here are my results.

I got dead dandelion, what flower are you?

Dead dandelions are weak, slightly smelly and unattractive just like you. They have trouble making friends, are awkward in social situations and hang their heads in shame when in company. A weak backbone leaves them moralistically empty and the colour yellow is quite frankly a crap colour for a flower.

I got Porky Pig, what cartoon character are you?

Hey fatty, you really are a porker aren’t you just like lovable chubbable Porky Pig the misguided baffoon with badly fitting clothes. Being a pig you are prone to over eating anything and everything that isn’t nailed down. You have little willpower and a ugly face to boot, friends often call you Peter Porker behind your back and laugh at your curly tail.

I got stale bread and ham, what sandwich are you?

Says it all really doesn’t it? You are boring and stiff, probably the most unexciting thing that anybody would ever want to be stuck in a lift with let alone talk to. Being a bit stale you like the comforts in life like a pair of slippers and a cup of tea, hold on, don’t get too exciting you might drop your pipe. Your nickname is BOF what you didn’t know is that it’s not short for boffin it’s actually boring old fart. Limp as lettuce, a statement used many times in your wimpy life.

I got a sloth, what creature are you?

You are such a lazy sod even this blog entry is typed by somebody else. Being prone to inactivity does have its advantages though as you are rarely asked to join in not that you would anyway. I’m surprised you have even bothered to do this questionnaire quite frankly as it could be considered work.

I got Silly Cow, what cow are you?

Jesus, what an idiot you are, do you have to keep bumbling through life like a complete asshole? You could have been clever cow, handsome cow or a myriad of other cows, instead your penchant to make stupid decisions leaves you with this, a label that will stick and stick and stick you silly cow.

Your smell is armpits, what smell are you?

Quite frankly you smell like an over ripe donkey on a diet of baked beans. Take a shower, have a bath anything to get rid of your smell that follows you around like a shadow you really smell rank. Remember Stig of the dump? Well, congratulations you are Smith of the dump and should be left out with the rest of the rubbish for collection.

 

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