Brucie reveals for the first time that the versatile entertainer is the victim of a major haunting at his new million pound mansion and it’s driving him to the brink of sanity. ‘Strictly Come Dancing give me chance to forget about all the strange goings on, it’s only when I return at night that my nightmare starts’ said Brucie yesterday. For Brucie is haunted by what experts are calling a catastrophic materialisation of felinity, a full blown spectral emission that causes Brucies new mansion to be visited by cats.
Brucie seen here stood outside his mansion looked petrified when we spoke to him and with good reason for when we developed this picture it revealed a menacing figure looking on from the roof, a spectral tabbykitten, one of the most evil of spirit cat apparitions. Brucie ran inside terrified shortly after this and immediately tripped over his golf bag. Looking shocked we spoke to him later in his lavish lounge.
But as we spoke Brucie turned white and out of the corner of my eye I spied a Polterpussy as it seemingly levitated from the floor and onto the arm of the chair in a strange leaping levitation that has scientists baffled. ‘Were totally baffled’ said a leading scientist yesterday. Brucie passed out and could only be revived when a young lady rubbed his face with her chest.
As Brucie recovered in his lavish bedroom he told us ‘This is where the magic happens’ then slowly a 17th century moggie wearing a cravat materialised on the bed, over Brucies shoulder a hairless tom cat loomed into view and a litter of killer kittens shot out from under the bed causing Brucie to run screaming only to lock himself in the lavish bathroom. A ghostly meow was heard from under the door, we burst in and found this.
Two of the cat apparitions were going for Brucies wig, only quick thinking from our crew and Brucies use of strong glue saved him from a rug disaster. Brucie ran from the house and has not been seen since Monday. The mystery of Brucie and his haunted mansion remain that, a mystery. Strange yowling and mewing has been reported late at night, it is still uncertain if Brucie will make this weekends Strictly, we will keep you posted.
Be safe this Halloween and if by any chance you hear a meow from an empty room hold on to your wig, you never know what’s out there.
Don’t have nightmares!
Yes I know its a cop-out blog post but I have a sniffle and I need all my strength for this weekends appearance at Treeby & Bolton in Keswick this Saturday between 12-3pm, hope to see you there!