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More great ideas to make your life more comfortable in your advancing years. Maybe its a gift for yourself or a gift for a friend you are sure to find something in our latest catalogue.

Chat-E-Dog – Mobile telephonic system with collar attachment.

Ever wish you could call your dog? Ever wish you could call your dog even when he is out of earshot? Ever wish you could reverse charges on your dog and make him pay for being so disobedient? Well, our new Chat-E-Dog will do all this and more. Simply sign up to our twenty four month limited broadband package with sky and Flixter for a special price of £76 per month and we will throw in our latest Chat-E-Dog phone for free. Buy two and we will also include out Cat-A-Chat torment phone for endless cat chat dog scrap fun.

£1928 payable in one monthly instalment. Dogs under 28 must consult an adult first.

We all love donuts but sometimes it pays to hide your passion from others. We at Secret Donut understand your addiction and have come up with a sensible secret solution with our donut covers made from specially selected material to turn them into cushions, pillows or even simulated large edible marshmallows. No more hiding them down the back of the settee or stuffing them up your blouse, now hide them on full show and snack at your leisure. Options extras include a secret sprinkle stash disguised as a tin of healthy beans and our unique donut stack-a-rack allowing you to eat three donuts at a time!


Do you slip in the bath? Do you have trouble bending down to do your feet? Our new Spiderfeet with its super suction under grip will solve all your problems. Simply hang upside down in the bath or shower from the ceiling using our patented supagripa sucker puckers and scrub away safe from slipping. No more pesky bending over either simply reach up to the ceiling to wash your feet. A quick release mechanism swiftly returns you to earth whilst our rejuvenating bristles work to stab and poke your feet ridding you of evil thoughts and all your sins in one wash.

£62 Replacement bristles £22 Buckle and strap with splayed leg attachment only £26.25

Hate your friends, neighbours and relatives? Stop them from calling with our patented stab a hater underfloor skewer system. Place upright on any surface to cause maximum discomfort then simply invite them into your house. Watch them hotfoot it away as our sectional spikes penetrate even the hardest of shoe surfaces. Watch them scream as they run down the road, each step ramming it in even further. Laugh mercilessly as you realise you really don’t have any friends at all.

All yours for a sad £9.99 each

Finally our biggest seller, the iWaxpod. We all know headphones cause earwax well we have a solution. Our iWaxpod will not only play your favourite tunes but its rotating head with silicone tips will scoop out all your waxy residue as it forms. Fully rechargeable and portable you get two in a set, one for each ear to give you a STEREO sound system like no other. Pretty soon your ears will be so clear you will be able to hear a mouse fart. In Amsterdam. Switch on supabass and they will automatically thrust back and forth to reach the further ear based crevices known to man. Get smart, get ear clear, get iWaxpod today!


Send no money now just answer this question ‘Have I ever paid money to a Nigerian prince after receiving an email?’ If the answer is yes then send your complete bank details to Ihavebeemhadagainohnoimbroke.com today!


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