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Rockstar Superstar

Are you a Rock Star, take our latest questionnaire to find out!

1. You come up with the lyrics ‘I’m crazy for you babe…’ What is the next line to accompany the explosions and lighting effects whilst sliding a massive power chord?

A. ‘…like a rampant gorilla drinking sasparilla.’

B. ‘…like a honky tonk country boy without a sow.’

C.’…can we fix it, yes we can!’


2. You have a dependancy that you hide from people, is it…

A. Horse drugs and massive amounts of ground Peruvian nose powder.

B. Baked beans and whisky.

C. Alphabetti Spaghetti


3. Your latest music video is about to be filmed, what is the most important thing to include?

A. Long hair, ripping guitars, explosions, hip thrusts, leather, motorbikes, smoke.

B. Free running stallions, Dusty bars and women wearing plaid.

C. A costume suited actor being followed by an army of small children singing along.


4. You check into a hotel as part of a national tour, your room is not up to scratch, what do you do next?

A) Drive a Pontiac Firebird up seven flights of stairs and drive it into the television and out of the window crashing into the ornamental fountain at the entrance. Stepping out of the car you undo the boot and pull out your drummer who had come along for the trippy ride man.

B) Drink yourself silly on JD whilst listening to ‘Stand By Your Man’ and polishing your spurs.

C) Order jelly and ice cream and settle down to watch a Disney movie.


5. You accidentally fall down stairs carrying your guitar and…

A. You immediately write down the tune and it becomes a number one hit, you then regularly throw yourself down stairwells with various instruments to eventually create a new concept album which you call Deep Black.

B. The fall breaks your achy breaky heart and you sing songs about the pain and misery incurred for the rest of your life whilst stroking your only friend, a horse. Later in a fickle twist of cruelty you push your daughter into the spotlight to take up your pain and inflict it back on the world.

C. The flip, flap, bang sound is just what you need to finish off your new song ‘Let’s Trump’ which you play endlessly until children enter a catatonic state of stupor and pretend to enjoy it.

Are your a Rock Star?

Mostly A’s

Sorry, but you are really, really boring. Try looking for a comfortable desk job or look for employment in a bank.

Mostly B’s

Your friends would say you are the life and soul of the party but really you are a bit of a miserable drunk. Buy yourself a small Shetland pony and settle down in Milton Keynes.

Mostly C’s

You Rock! Mega stardom awaits you and your pant stuffing love trumpet. Well done, you are a ROCK LEGEND!


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