Loading…

The long suffering blog of the Impossimal creators...

Click the button to explore our amusing titbits or visit our main site using the links above
find me some juicy titbits

Mystic Maude’s Almanac

LEARN THE SECRETS OF COMB MAGIC

Perhaps no other magic is as old or as simple as comb magic yet it’s uses are almost unknown today. Everyone is aware of combing an area for something but few are aware that combing is a magical gesture that when used correctly brings luck and good fortune to practiced combers.

THERE IS POSSIBLY NO OTHER LIKE IT!

It’s a secret shared within a select few, special comb movements such as the ‘comb over’ and the ‘brush vigorously’ brings results time and time again.

Within a week of learning to comb I had won the lottery and had the dilemma of wondering what to do with my new found wealth!’ K.H (Notts) £10 lottery winner and combing practitioner.

COMBING CAN BE DONE ANYTIME, ANYWHERE WITH INSTANT RESULTS!

From losing weight to finding your perfect partner, learn how to back comb, quiff and even flick you way to a better life with Comb magic. Those who believe should brace themselves for a possible change! The Secrets Of Combing is available from us priced £14.95

YOUR HOROSCOPE

Aries – You will be visited by a donkey who will bring you good luck and a bucket and spade on Wednesday

Taurus – By the age of forty you will have grown horns and weigh approximately forty three stone.

Gemini – Disco will make a return this year and Gemini will again become a cool name to have.

Cancer – You will be eaten by a gigantic crab.

Leo – On Thursday you will be captured by a troup of lions and exhibited at the lions own travelling circus which is under investigation for its degrading human shows.

Virgo – It rhymes with lurgo and birgo but not bingo or lingo.

Libra – With a name that sounds like cheap wine you will end up a wino.

Sofa – Don’t get too comfy with your life, buy a few brightly colour cushions to promote luck.

Scorpio – Snippy little person aren’t you? On Friday you will over step the mark when your violent outburst and torrent of bad language gets you banned from answering calls at the Samaritans.

Sagittarius – You ying your yang whilst you yang your ying and end up exhausted.

Pram Face – The wheels of the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels of the bus go round and round about twenty times before stopping again it is so annoying. Make the journey more interesting by pressing the bell at every stop just in case anybody was running for the bus.

Capricorn – On Thursday you are offered a role in a blue movie, you accept and rename yourself Linda Lovelonger even though your real name is Tony.

Aquarius – You have a fear of water and will eventually drown in a freak accident with a can of Pepsi.

Volvo – The person of your dreams will sit next to you in the toilet cubicles, simply bang on the wall to get their attention and watch the magic happen.

DERRICK ACCORDIAN

Psychic to the stars (Basil brush, Po from the teletubbies) Romany type, has crystal balls, drinks spirits.

Could you use some help in these uncertain times? Want to know more about that mysterious path they call the future? I know I do, if you can help me phone (782718267) 917363 for further details (calls cost £8 per second and will last approximately 22 minutes whilst I put you on hold)

 

Leave a Reply