Hi, I’m Mr Cyclepath, you may have seen me a few weeks ago when I had a few problems with my legs and general well being. After a bit of a work out I’m fit and ready to take on the world.
Ta-da! Here I am, fit as a flea and rearing to go. As you can see I have pumped up my body somewhat and got myself a few new poses. I call this one the Jiving Jaywalker.
Here’s another, the Fred Astair Shuffle. Yes, I too have been bitten by the celebrity culture and want to lose my stereotypical image. I want to break free!
And free I shall be! There’s no discrimination in my world and I can display my flamboyant cross dressing, high heel wearing for all! Forget cycle paths, lets make them all Fabulous Funpaths. We could have glitter strewn across them, little bows could be tied to every sign, we could pave them all in little yellow bricks and wear ruby slippers. But wait, what is that I can hear?
Oh, no. It’s sensible Mr man from the council!
‘You can’t do that. It’s not financially possible to be fabulous, anyway I’m sure there’s a law against it somewhere and if there isn’t we will make one up.’
‘But please Mr man from the council, why can’t everything be fabulous, just imagine park seats that look like princess thrones, glitter balls at every bus stop, everything would be so…fabulous!’
‘ Look how great I look in my top and tails!’
‘Grrr!!!!, we have a fabulous one here boys, send in the dreary antifabulous spikerider to see him off!’
‘Yikes!!! You horrible Mr man from the council. I know my place.’
So here I am, back to boring normal. You will always know if its me because the only thing I have left is to change sides when you least expect it.
See, one minute I will be on this side and a few hundred feet later, voila.
I’m on the other side. My confidence seems to have take a bash too, the less of that I have the less you will see of me…
I’m even too small for my bike now.
Remember me, I’m the guy that tells you which side to walk on even though you are a grown adult on a cycle path that gets used by two people every year and you obviously cannot make intelligent decisions like avoiding moving objects yourself.
Damn, I really am worthless aren’t I?
This has been a public information service to inform you about the quality of our little stick men and to avoid being too fabulous. Please be assured all stick men will be given alternative jobs on other signs.
Anybody found placing a glitter ball at a bus stop will fall foul of our new law Discostopping, likewise anyone attending a bus stop disco will face a heavy on the spot fine and be forced to do a little boogie.