Its awful, it’s the same thing every year, somebody, somewhere will succumb to Noddyism.
We at the Noddisim Recovery Unit pride ourselves on first hand Noddy related illnesses and can treat most forms of Noddyism without the fear of a relapse.
Please use the check list below, if you can tick two or more you may be eligible for a Noddyism relief package, tick four or more and you may need to call us now, if you can tick them all then you are Noddy Holder, our first client that we failed over thirty years ago and the original carrier of Noddyism.
You talk with a Walsall, Wolverhampton, or Brummie accent or just come from North of Watford Gap according to down there.
You have fantasies about sausages.
On the first week of January every year you receive a very large cheque but can’t remember doing any work.
Every time somebody says ‘Ah, here it is’ you can’t help but shout ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’ in a loud voice.
Your hair looks exactly like your sideburns.
Your sideburns look exactly like your hair.
Your hair looks like they have been fighting your sideburns.
Every item in your wardrobe is either striped or chequered with bits of plaid but all in garish colours.
You stand and extra 24 inches in your shoes.
You have a best friend called Dave that dresses in robes.
Your friend Dave has a length of hair that looks like its belly flopped on his head.
Your voice sounds like a bulldog gargling gravel.
When you go to weddings you are the only person with a mirrored hat.
You only listen to old songs, because they are the best.
You look to the future because it’s only just begun.
Your name is not Roy Wood.
If you or your family have been affected by Noddyism then please call us straight away on the following number – 0800 – CHRISTMAS-EVERY-DAY
This has been a blog entry by the Noddyism Information Board, Have a safe and happy Christmas everybody.