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Grumpty Dumpty


If it wasn’t for bad luck he’d have no luck at all.

Grumpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Throughly annoyed after his fall,

Bugger the kings horses and all his men,

The sods have put my feet on backwards again.


Grumpty Dumpty rode on a bus,

Suddenly from upstairs came such a fuss,

A drunk staggered down the stairs and went Hic!

Before turning to Grumpty and being lavishly sick.


Grumpty Dumpty went out for a meal,

For Grumpty this was always a big deal,

He bit something chewy and asked if they’d roasted them,

The waiter replied no, he’d found an animal scrotum.


Grumpty Dumpty once sang a song,

When from below came oh such a pong!

Stopping he looked down at his shoe,

And knew it was a stick job to clean out the poo.


Grumpty Dumpty went for a hike,

When from out of the blue came a speeding bike,

As it hit him he let out some high pitched squeaks,

When the bike wheel wedged firmly betwixt his arse cheeks.


Grumpty Dumpty was out in the sun,

Boy was he having so much fun!

A distraction from the side when somebody calls,

Made him step on a rake that hit him in the balls.


Grumpty Dumpty was having a snack,

Accidentally he spilled food from his rucksack,

A passing dog found some cheese crackers,

But instead turned to Grumpty and bit him on the knackers.


Poor Grumpty Dumpty, more tales of woe soon.


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