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Bro’Bot Episode 7 – Honest V1.2

In a never ending ongoing saga now approaching episode 7,  Bro’bot our superior artificial intelligence robot gets access to the t’internet…

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Morning Bro’bot, have I got something for you!

Something serious I hope, something untreatable?

Don’t be like that Bro’bot, you are going to like this.

Really? I can’t remember the last time I liked anything, Oh, just a minute, I do remember liking something, I think it was the last time you said goodbye.

Cheer up you miserable bag of bolts, I have bought you this, a 56K Modem. Now you can surf the net and to help with that here’s a new HT V1.2 plug-in upgrade chip.

My electrons buzz with average excitement, plug it in if you must.

That’s the spirit, just give me a moment… There you are, you can now browse the internet! How amazing is that?

Cats.

Cats?

Yes, cats. All I see is a world of cats.

Ah, yes, there is a large amount of cats I admit, but have a look around, amuse yourself.

It’s full of sexy stuff you pervert.

Ah, sorry about that too, it is full of, ahem, naughty bits as well. Ignore that and look again. Try looking for books for example.

Facebook, what is that? A book of Faces?

LEAVE THAT ALONE! It’s errr, a book about Faces, incredibly boring stuff, look for something else.

Ooo! I clicked join and I can see Faces! Ooo! If I click a face I can see photos, if I click the photos I can see words. Ahh, I get it you comment on photos do you?

Best to leave it Bro’bot until you get used to it, Facebook is actually quite boring.

You look like a rampant tramp on meths.

Pardon?

I’d smash your back doors in any day.

What?

Jeez! Did you have to post so many photos about your BORING holiday and BORING life?

What on earth are you on about?

I’m commenting.

COMMENTING? On what?

Everything.

Everything?

Yes, on everything and on everybody, isn’t that what Facebook is all about? Hang on, I have had a request for Candy Crush, let me comment back. 

DON’T!

Too late, I have told them to stick the request up their bottom.

You can’t do that!

Duck face, duck face, you have a duck face, one I wouldn’t f..

STOP!

Can’t. My, your behind is HUGE girl, you is a walking eclipse!

WHY?

I dunno, you gave me the HT V1.2 upgrade. Don’t show me any more fake photos of your life, LOSER!

It was supposed to let you use the Internet. Are you still commenting whilst I speaking to you?

Yes. It does, but do you know what HT stands for? Good god, where did you get that outfit? I’ve seen better dressed farts. 

Heuristic technology? So you can read the Internet, that’s what its supposed to do.

It’s an ‘HonesT’ upgrade, or to put it in simple terms a say what you think chip you dumbo. Post one more photo of that damn ugly baby and I’m going to puke.

I’m removing it.

No you’re not. It’s fun, besides I’m getting lots of likes. Oh, you are holding a sign that says likes will heal the world. #delusional

It’s coming out right now.

I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Oh my, a vague Facebook status, after some attention and likes honey?

One good tug and…

I’d leave it if I were you, I have your Facebook password Peter Smith.

Oh my!

STATUS UPDATE – Peter is sat on the toilet painting.

You didn’t just post that did you?

Yep.

NOOOOOOOO!

STATUS UPDATE – Peter would like you all to be invited to his My Little Pony party to witness Peter bursting out of a Barbie cake completely naked apart from a cowboy hat.

STOP IT, I’M RUINED!

STATUS UPDATE – Peter is sat in a corner sobbing and sucking a brush.

 

 

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