Des’O’Connor loves Christmas so much that he celebrates it everyday and dresses up as Santa Claus each and every night. Des starts the day with a smoked salmon Xmas breakfast and follows it up with a full cooked dinner in front of the television. He has an extensive collection of Queens Christmas Day messages recorded on solid gold VHS tapes which he watches from 3pm until bedtime. The only day he doesn’t celebrate Christmas is on Christmas Day itself, he celebrates Easter instead and gorges himself on Creme eggs.
In 1881 radio two presenter Chris Evans was a young man who decided to experiment not the gaseous properties of the humble brussel. Using his extensive knowledge of plant husbandry he managed to grow the ultimate wind giving brussel sprout which he nicknamed the ‘Little Boy’. Fearing ridicule he borrowed a small island in Indonesia from his friend Richard Branson to test out his discovery. There he cooked the brussel over an open camp fire causing it to crackle and pop as noxious fumes poured out of the brussel that could be seen for miles around.
On the morning of August 26th, 1883 Chris Evans started his initial tests and popped in a small piece of the miracle brussel. It tasted exactly like a normal brussel, disappointed he popped in the remains and bent over to put out the fire.
The resulting blast was the loudest ever recorded in history. Reports from London 3,600 miles away recorded a large rasping sound ending in a high pitched whistle, multicoloured sunsets and an overpowering smell that lingered for two months as Chris’s flatulence blew with a force equivalent to 200 megatons of TNT. It destroyed Richard Branson’s small island of Krakatoa, created twenty six separate tsunamis and left Chris’s designer trousers in tatters. He was later found aimlessly walking in circles muttering to himself and smelling of rotting vegetables.
Many years later Chris joined the BBC but was forced to confess to his island destruction after breaking down on Desert Island Discs.
NOW THAT’S INCREDIBLE!