Launched today is a fifty two part magazine ‘Big Bangers’ revealing the secrets of successful sausage skills and taking you through the professional techniques needed to become a Master Banger. Over the course of the year your will learn how to create your own tasty sausage sizzlers using nothing more than offal, sawdust, herbs, a mangle, a piece of rubber tubing and balloons. Handy charts will allow you to identify a Cumberland from twenty feet whilst you will learn the difference between health and safety as you attempt to mix batches of lips, eyes and arseholes.
Amaze friends with your latest creation as they chow down on such delicacies as the ‘eight incher’, a sausage with a mighty girth filled with delicious tripe, astound family when you turn your kitchen into a portable butchery shop and save pounds as you learn how to turn road kill into tasty treats using bleach.
In the first issue receive this gift absolutely free!
A link of commemorative Linconshire sausages, ready to cook. (N.B. Issue must be purchased on day of release as free gift may go green). In issue two we start you on the road to being a sausage stallion with our second free gift of a pig intestine, collect issues three to forty two to get the whole pig. By issue fifty we will give you a chance to purchase a Big Banger glass fronted fridge freezer in which to display all your pig parts. (N.B. may require a nominal charge of £299)
Future issues include
How To Be A Bender, The Perfect Cumberland Shape
Bury Your Pork, Aging Sausages The Old Fasioned Way
Push Or Pull? The Perils Of Sausage Stuffing
How To Bang Her, Adding Spice To Your Favourite Sausage
Size Has Nothing To Do With It, A Guide To Ramming Your Sausages With Taste
It’ll Scrub Out, Cleaning Up your Kitchen After Butchery
Are You A Mincer?, Grinding Up The Correct Gristle
Using or step-by-step system we teach you how to smoke your sausages, pretty soon you will have a packet of twenty Pigerettes that you can share with friends. You will also learn how to roll your own Pigars for the ultimate in luxury.
Accurate photos guide you through stuffing your horn hole to pump up your bangers, how to hand crank all night and how to ‘go naked’ at sausage parties using man made casings. Finally in issue fifty two we have handy hints on wrapping your sausage for the perfect home made Christmas gift.
All this an more at the starting price of £4 for issue one! (N.B. Normal retail price after issue one is £9.99)
From your local newsagent NOW!
Also look out for our companion magazines, ‘Loo Zoo’, over forty two issues turn your lavatory into a petting zoo and ‘Ape Shape’, become a professional monkey barber, first issue includes Chimp Scissors!