Take the humble spoon, a simple item masking a whole world of coolness that you never realised existed. Forget chucking away those plastic spoons, horde them and in turn you will have a treasure chest of useful and entertaining objects. Come with me and enter the world of Spoonventions, parts of the Forkatry skill set we discussed yesterday.
Problems with ninjas? Fear no more with this spuriken, a lethal throwing weapon known only to Dojen Hiyah Kung Po masters. Simply strap together four spoons as shown and carefully sharpen the edges using a potato peeler. Throw at any hiding ninjas for ninja free zone. in fact they are so good since I made mine I have been completely ninja free.
If you prefer a more hands on approach then become Wolverine instantly. No catch, you really can pretend to be Wolverine with this.
Place small blobs of glue onto your fingers and place in the bowls of five spoons like above. When you lift you will have instant extendable claws, try slashing toilet paper to see the impressive shredding action then blame the results on a passing cat. To retract your claws simply make a fist and the will miraculously vanish, open you hand quickly to extend.
N.B. remove before using the toilet to avoid nasty accidents.
Want to play a game? No problem, simply get a pack of cards and copy the symbols and numbers onto fifty two spoons for your own easy grip playing card spoons. As they fit comfortably together they will travel in your back pocket effortlessly rendering traditional card packs useless. Impress friends and strangers alike as you play snap, poker, Klondike and many more games using your stylish pack. Decorate on the reverse for extra wow factor.
If you have kids then feeding time can be a nightmare. Trying to hit the cake hole whilst they move their head like they are possessed has always been a problem but if you fasten three spoons together then you have increased your chances of filling their pie chute instantly. Also useful for eating yoghurt really fast.
Still having trouble feeding the little dears? Then you need an Aerospoon, the latest in airborne food delivery. To save having to make engine noises and swooping with your hand to deliver your payload simply stand the other side of the room, load it up and throw it towards a child. Their surprise will cause their mouth to open wide and the plane will land safely after gliding gracefully into their open mouth. Tie a piece of thread to the tail fin and you don’t even have to go and retrieve it, just a small tug and it returns effortlessly.
Still having trouble feeding? Then amuse them into submission with this animated toy rabbit. Skilful use of the ear spoons will enable the bunny to look and listen.
It’s the cast of Top Gear made entirely from spoons, how cool is that! Play with Jeremy, Stig and Hammond as they miraculously appear in 3D. Review cars, go on road trips, meet celebs, crash cars all whilst filming your own special Top Gear show.
N.B. Voices, cars, celebs not supplied but can be easily made following our advanced origami with toilet paper course.
Want to make some extra money this weekend? Get a stall at a craft show and sell Spoollery, jewellery made from spoons! You will be quids in and a millionaire by this time next week.
Finally the ultimate spoon hack. Need to eat your Chinese meal in a hurry? Simply snap off the spoon bowls and discard to be left with…chopsticks! Who’d have thought it possible, I’m never going to eat the same again.
Spoonventions part of the Culinariology Forketry Society of Great Britain, founded in 1482 sometime around tea time.