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7 Things

I have been nominated by HRH Prince Charles on Facebook so here are seven facts about me!

1) I once was in a fight with Shane Ritchie on the set of Eastenders over who would take the over large poodle Rolly for a walk whilst Dirty Den opened the Vic. It had to be broken up by Ricky and Dot Cotton.

2) In 1985 I travelled the Sahara and won best dressed goat at the Sahara Butlins Complex, I came second in the three legged Bedouin and last in the knobbly knee contest. My chalet was a Yurt and I owned two Yaks called Geoffery and Cuthbert, Geoffery wore glasses whilst Cuthbery made do with a hat.

3) In a cubicle in South Wales I once broke wind so loudly that they opened the gates on Tower Bridge, London to let what they thought was a ocean liner through.

4) I’m a fully trained Chimp scissor stylist and can coiffer a gibbons hair into several styles using only an Afro comb.

5) my favourite pastime is pretending to be an artist.

6) I was once a seven year old and like most people my age I’m 47.

7) I was excellent at maths at school and learnt to count at an early age.

10) I’m so thrifty that instead of buying an expensive private number plate I changed my name to YS12 ZTG.

13) I once attended the Oscars and sat next to Brad Pitt. I say attended, I sat close to the television when it was on and turned up the sound. I also touched the screen at intervals. I’m not weird.

20) I can say the alphabet backwards. Tebahpla.

21) If you turn your belly button anticlockwise your bottom falls off.

22) I once saw Keith Chegwin naked, he was so surprised that I knew where he lived and that I wore no clothes.

I nominate Orville The Duck and Keith Harris and the letter Z, take it away Orville!



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