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The long suffering blog of the Impossimal creators...

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Hee-Haw!!!!!! Look At My ASS!

Its Monday morning so its time for Donkey Wise Donkey Advise, our regular column dedicated to your problems with our Wise Donkey solutions. Todays blog has been sponsored by www.donkeydodonkeydontdonkeywisedonkeylies.com a subsidiarity of www.sheepgobaapigsgooinkandpandassitaroundalotandlooksad.comDear Three Wise Donkeys,I am a working mother of two and I have recently run up a large credit card bill without my husbands […]

This Blog Is Awesome! (N.B. Blog May Or May Not Be Awsome Depending On Location)

How To Talk To A Dog Dogs use a complex system of communication called a Bi-frequency Ahhhrythmic Relay Keytone to talk, you will need to learn this too. We will shorten it to BARK for easier reading but basically you need to BARK like your dog. It’s not hard to learn and you can start […]

FREE A-Z Of Trumpeting

ARAPTURE – Passing gas at such an high speed that internal Fracking occurs and your legs tremble uncontrollably as you sink to the floor. BRUMPING – Like a trapped burp this one sits at the edge until it expels with a Floomph, similar to the sound of a gun being muffled by a cushion. CRICKETTY […]

Rockstar Superstar

Are you a Rock Star, take our latest questionnaire to find out! 1. You come up with the lyrics ‘I’m crazy for you babe…’ What is the next line to accompany the explosions and lighting effects whilst sliding a massive power chord? A. ‘…like a rampant gorilla drinking sasparilla.’ B. ‘…like a honky tonk country […]

Speak Up, You’re Mumbling

Welcome to the University Of Proper English, we aim to educate our students in the principles of using the correct grandma and how to avoid embarrassing shiitake from over enthusiastic spell chequers. During our six week coarse you will lean how to spot mistakes as they happened. From spelling errors to languish difficulties our tutors […]

Arthur Mullards Used Donkey

CLASSIFIEDS 1987 Large Donkey 1040cc, one lady owner, good runner, full service history £4995 ono. 1998 Giraffe Convertible Nice little family giraffe comes complete with fitted high seat, excellent full pattern bodywork £5995 1975 Vintage Gnu Low mileage, twin horns, immaculate condition and reliable, easy to park. £3995 FOR SALE Two large marrows, ideal for […]

Trotting Clippers

I’m Dixie Normous owner and stylist at Trotting Clippers an exclusive hair studio in the heart of Mansfield. We offer competitive clips, comfortable clops and styles you wouldn’t believe, we are stylists to the stars and are the first to offer the ‘Rip Strip’ the excruciating painful way to have a perfect bikini line using […]

Rock Scissor Balls

You know it’s gong to be one of those days when you venture out of the studio for supplies and the first thing you see is this. I have no doubt it does exactly what it says it’s more about the implications that bother me. ‘Cuts the THICKEST’, wow, are we talking width, depth or […]

So That’s How To Do It

How To Talk To A Dog Dogs use a complex system of communication called a Bi-frequency Arrhythmic Relay Keytone to talk, you will need to learn this too. We will shorten it to BARK for easier reading but basically you need to BARK like your dog. It’s not hard to learn and you can start […]