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The long suffering blog of the Impossimal creators...

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Last Chance For Chapter Five And A Bit Of Uncommon Nonsense

Tomorrow, Saturday 12th December at The Evergreen Art Cafe in Daventry is the last appearance date of the Lost Alice tour, a befitting end at a location so ideally suited to tea and cakes. So for one final time, if you get chance pop along anytime between 11am-3pm for a chat, cup of tea or […]

Merry Christmas, S*itter Was Full

1. Find nice attractive paper and place on floor. 2. Roll out paper so it’s flat. 3. Re-roll out the paper because you forgot to place something on it to stay rolled out. 4. Re-roll out paper because the roll of sellotape wasn’t heavy enough to hold it down. 5. Curse. 6. With all four […]

Welcome To Your 14-Day Guide – All Your Family Favourites! Best Value Double Issue ONLY 95p

Welcome to your 14-Day Guide All your family favourites! Best Value Double Issue 95p CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS Guide written by TV Pundit, Ivor Crimblecock BBC1 4:00am Christmas LIVE Secret cameras record children as they wake up and drag their drunk parents out of bed to watch them rip open mountains of presents and discard them […]

Something Special

Over the last eleven years we have only ever allowed Impossimal artwork to be used on a select few quality products, the last being over five years ago with the final set of cufflinks so after much deliberation and a lot of making sure we only find the correct products we decided in the lead […]

Close Encounters Of The Twerking Kind

Today I have invited Arthur Brain founder of the Bureau Understanding Foreign Flight Objects Of Non-terrestrial Subjects or BUFFOONS for short to tell us about his latest extra-testicle phenomenon. So Arthur, just what is a UFO? ‘UFO’s are unidentified frying objects, such as burnt bacon or frazzled sausages mysteriously flying through the air. We have […]

Xmas Crimble Yuletide Advert Time For Sentimentality

Crimbo Cats Festive Survey Chrismastide, Noel, nativity, call it what you will Christmas is here to stay along with all the latest nostalgic tear jerking adverts so we asked members of the celebrity obsessed public to tell us what their best Christmas spelling is and these are the results. “I fink it means to me […]

Halloween Special

Not ONE but TWO spooky LOST ALICE appearances this week in an UNPRECEDENTED series of FORTUNATE events that are ALL FREE and open TO ALL!!!Join us both with LOST ALICE at Trident Galleries, 1 Allandale Road, Stoneygate, Leicester, LE2 2DA between 6-9pm this FRIDAY 30th for MUSIC, FOOD, DRINK, FUN, FROLICS and of course NAKED LINE DANCING absolutely […]

Teddypocalypse Is Upon Us!

The end of the world is nigh, according to expert historian Norman Nutter in his new book ‘Teddypocalypse – The Day We Get Stuffed’ (£4.95 from Urmston Post Office). Teddy bears and other stuffed toys will rise up and destroy mankind in what has been dubbed by experts as T-Day, the 15th of October 2015.This […]

This Blog Is Awesome! (N.B. Blog May Or May Not Be Awsome Depending On Location)

How To Talk To A Dog Dogs use a complex system of communication called a Bi-frequency Ahhhrythmic Relay Keytone to talk, you will need to learn this too. We will shorten it to BARK for easier reading but basically you need to BARK like your dog. It’s not hard to learn and you can start […]

I Speak Your Weight, No Coach Parties Please

As supermarkets have now had time to introduce a new voluntary initiative which was bound to work seeing as its voluntary, involving the voluntary labelling of food for health purposes, even though they haven’t agreed on a common design yet it is definitely going to be done sometime next year maybe, today’s blog aims to […]