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FREE A-Z Of Trumpeting

ARAPTURE – Passing gas at such an high speed that internal Fracking occurs and your legs tremble uncontrollably as you sink to the floor. BRUMPING – Like a trapped burp this one sits at the edge until it expels with a Floomph, similar to the sound of a gun being muffled by a cushion. CRICKETTY […]

Terror Treasures Of The World (issue two)

Issue 2 of 250, Second Issue 50p with free Carrier Bag Of Craziness. Normal Price £4.99 Welcome this stunning collection of antiquities and mysterious objects that aim to beguile and amaze you. In easy to collect parts over the next 250 weeks it will build up into a stunning library that will stun visitors with […]

Last Off The Bus

Always be the last off the bus, remember that, it has served me well. Many years ago when I left school and started work I used to walk a lot. I walked to work, I walked to town during dinner breaks and walked home at night. These cars were a familiar sight on the roads, […]

Arthur Mullards Used Donkey

CLASSIFIEDS 1987 Large Donkey 1040cc, one lady owner, good runner, full service history £4995 ono. 1998 Giraffe Convertible Nice little family giraffe comes complete with fitted high seat, excellent full pattern bodywork £5995 1975 Vintage Gnu Low mileage, twin horns, immaculate condition and reliable, easy to park. £3995 FOR SALE Two large marrows, ideal for […]

Well I Never!

It’s the return of ‘Well I Never!’ And this weeks question comes from Ms Twiddly Ramsbottom in Oxfordshire who wrote in asking what she can do with a box of Shredded Wheat found at the back of the kitchen cupboard as she has no idea where it came from or indeed what to do with […]

The Wonders Of Electricity

Electricity has been with us for a long time, from the first static sparks created rubbing two sticks together in 60,000BC to today’s clean green electricity made from fans spinning to the gusts of flatulent cows. Today we explore electricity of the ancients and uncover the secrets of internal wiring before trumpeting cows were even […]

Nosmo King

Being a gorilla you wouldn’t have thought I would have to put up with this rubbish. Only today I opened Bananas Weekly, the magazine for discerning banana collectors only to have six leaflets drop out on to my hairy lap. It drives me bananas, I already get enough crap through the bars of my cage, […]

Towering Infertilizer

‘The pigs under the quilt again Mabel, you know what a mess he made last time, no amount of Daz is going to shift that stain.’ Mabel and Stan had decided to give up the rat race and try some of the good life. Being self sufficient in a council flat ten stories up does […]

Sweary Mary

It’s Monday and you’re already sat at work bored, what do you do? Well, you could make your very own Sweary Mary Bobbins, all the fun of Mary Poppins combined with the latest crazy for crafting and swearing. For this you will need : An old fashioned Bobbin, a match stick, a toothpick or thin […]

The Secret Art Of Cricket Fighting

Martial arts have been around for quite a while and are considered old hat I today’s society, a new craze sweeping the nation is cricket, this combined with our need for unnecessary violence in our lives have led to Cricket Club, the secret society of Cricket Fighting. It only has one rule, LBW but that […]