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The long suffering blog of the Impossimal creators...

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Arthur Sixpence

Let’s talk about old money not this fictional Bitcoin or digital money but proper solid money. Old money was real, you could feel it in your pocket as it jangled away, your pocket money felt like something when you was given it, old money was so cool but do you know your bits from your […]

Randy Claphorn’s Mushrooms

As it’s National Mushroom day I’m Sister Randy Claphorn with a handy guide to all things mushroomy to help you along. To talk mushroom make sure that in every sentance you replace at least one word with something fungi, for example ‘Really? I think you are talking shiitake.’ or ‘Yes, she is quite attractive, I […]

Randy Claphorn’s Mushrooms

As it’s National Mushroom day I’m Sister Randy Claphorn with a handy guide to all things mushroomy to help you along. To talk mushroom make sure that in every sentance you replace at least one word with something fungi, for example ‘Really? I think you are talking shiitake.’ or ‘Yes, she is quite attractive, I […]

Perfectopartner.com

Welcome to perfectopartner.com Comp-u-date, please fill in our questionnaire to find your perfect partner in seconds. Love guaranteed at first sight, soul mates a speciality, no time wasters or pugly people. Ideal build A) Slim and svelte B) Average with a tendency to over eat C) Bouncy castle D) Thunder thighs with roll top bottom […]

Speak Up, You’re Mumbling

Welcome to the University Of Proper English, we aim to educate our students in the principles of using the correct grandma and how to avoid embarrassing shiitake from over enthusiastic spell chequers. During our six week coarse you will lean how to spot mistakes as they happened. From spelling errors to languish difficulties our tutors […]

Special Gifts This Christmas

Welcome to Santas Grotty Shopping Channel, your one stop shop till you drop crop of the top gifts this festive season. Let’s kick things off with something rather special. Remember the classic Swan teasmaid? Well we here at SGSC have turned this classic into the ultimate in gadget aided breakfast consumption. Marvel as your Swan […]

Have A Sausage

  I love a big thick long one in the morning, there’s nothing more satisfying than to have a mouthful. I’m obviously talking about sausages, that staple of the great fry up and something that recently has taken a battering in my view. Over the years during our travels we have stayed at many hotels […]

Seriously

To all those that think I’m a little bonkers with the blog I have decided to go all serious today with an informative cooking entry relating to current trends in the restaurant trade and home cooking. To help present today’s blog we have celebrity chef Gordon Muthaf@*#%#* Ramsbottom joining us. Hello Gordon. F@&* off. Today […]

Buffet Barmy

We were invited to a small party, nothing too fancy just a small collection of friends and in this case a friends family. One thing you can always be sure of at a party of this nature is the buffet, a selection of sandwiches, sausages on sticks, cheese and pineapple skewers, sausage rolls, crisps you […]

Strange Objects In The Sky

Due to the unusual events surrounding this weekend the government has issued a set of guidelines in readiness. Be prepared, we will experience a unique event this weekend when a mysterious object will appear in the sky two days in a row accompanied by a searing blast of heat. The last time we issued this […]