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Don’t Hurl, It’s The Sickly Christmas Post!

Ready? Prepare yourself, it’s that time again although I do sprinkle a bit of salt on the sugar after a while if you can bare to read on… Another year has passed at Impossimal HQ with another reason to say thank you to you, our family of Impossimal fans for bringing us so much happiness along […]

Have You Been Affected By Noddyism?

Its awful, it’s the same thing every year, somebody, somewhere will succumb to Noddyism. We at the Noddisim Recovery Unit pride ourselves on first hand Noddy related illnesses and can treat most forms of Noddyism without the fear of a relapse. Please use the check list below, if you can tick two or more you […]

The A-Z of Christmas by Peter The Reindeer

Oh no! It’s that time of year again! Advent Calendars Twenty four disappointing doors with lacklustre images or chocolate, much easier to line up twenty four bottles of wine for a much more fun start to the day. Tip :Don’t buy the new Downing Street calendar, there’s nothing behind any of the doors apart from […]

Merry Christmas, S*itter Was Full

1. Find nice attractive paper and place on floor. 2. Roll out paper so it’s flat. 3. Re-roll out the paper because you forgot to place something on it to stay rolled out. 4. Re-roll out paper because the roll of sellotape wasn’t heavy enough to hold it down. 5. Curse. 6. With all four […]

Welcome To Your 14-Day Guide – All Your Family Favourites! Best Value Double Issue ONLY 95p

Welcome to your 14-Day Guide All your family favourites! Best Value Double Issue 95p CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS Guide written by TV Pundit, Ivor Crimblecock BBC1 4:00am Christmas LIVE Secret cameras record children as they wake up and drag their drunk parents out of bed to watch them rip open mountains of presents and discard them […]

FREE GIFT! Knob Twiddler Weakly

In celebration of Peter and Jayne appearing at Castle Galleries Norwich tomorrow between 1-4pm all welcome here’s our Friday Free Gift to you, the knob twiddling public!Your pocket guide to Christmas Day television and beyond, simply use our patent screen scissors to cut out your computer or laptop screen to have this free guide to […]

Hoff Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

If like me you always have the perfect Christmas with perfect food, presents and me then you should give me a call, if not, all you other non-Hoffs can follow my handy guide to Christmas. Ho Ho Hoff and away we go! Christmas dinner for the Hoff is a perfect plate on a perfect table […]

Xmas Crimble Yuletide Advert Time For Sentimentality

Crimbo Cats Festive Survey Chrismastide, Noel, nativity, call it what you will Christmas is here to stay along with all the latest nostalgic tear jerking adverts so we asked members of the celebrity obsessed public to tell us what their best Christmas spelling is and these are the results. “I fink it means to me […]

Christmas Is Coming (10p O.N.O) No Time Wasters

It’s November and the Christmas cheer is filling the shops with festive fun in the form of tortuous music and gaudy baubles so lets start early with a scrimpers guide to Christmas for less than 10p, probably.  Impress family and friends with your thriftiness and thrill them all with special time saving gift tags, the ultimate […]

The Perfect Christmas

I’m Santa and this is your guide to a festive frugal time this Christmas with some excellent designer ideas from a world famous bloke that’s done a bit of decorating on television. One simple way to make sure all your guests feel festive as they spend long hours on the porcelain throne after dinner is […]